Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize