She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize