I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
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