Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize