if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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