Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.

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  (650): I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke. http://tfl.nu/5x23
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.

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  (706): New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie. http://tfl.nu/22gj
  Replies (37) Good night (716) Bad night (2604) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

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  (978): I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/sljh
  Replies (7) Good night (2806) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

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  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (1183) Bad night (8493) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card

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  (304): Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/10du
  Replies (15) Good night (4121) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you

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  (712): I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you http://tfl.nu/qvrh
  Replies (21) Good night (2869) Bad night (1306) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  this must be what syphilis tastes like

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  (302): this must be what syphilis tastes like http://tfl.nu/o277
  Replies (15) Good night (639) Bad night (5857) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.

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  (815): This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro. http://tfl.nu/5jtw
  Replies (8) Good night (3432) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.

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  (720): July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions. http://tfl.nu/elfr
  Replies (1) Good night (896) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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  (651): asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night. http://tfl.nu/52m5
  Replies (13) Good night (1396) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.

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  (503): I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours. http://tfl.nu/1oq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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  (417): Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently. http://tfl.nu/jfkc
  Replies (11) Good night (2159) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits

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  (913): My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits http://tfl.nu/sxpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1612) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass

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  (310): I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass http://tfl.nu/6152
  Replies (6) Good night (1649) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!

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  (207): Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck! http://tfl.nu/r6pa
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt

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