I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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