The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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