i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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