He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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