office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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