he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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