so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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