so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
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i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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