fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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