I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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