You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My balls are so social today.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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