i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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