Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize