when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize