im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize