five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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