My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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