The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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