So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize