so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize