he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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