I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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