So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
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Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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