hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize