Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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