so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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