I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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