You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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