We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
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Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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