TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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