2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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