Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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