haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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