Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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