Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize