apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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