But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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