I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
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When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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