I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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