Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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