I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
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I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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