I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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