i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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