Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
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There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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